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The good, the bad, us and who we want to be.

It’s been a while since I posted something personal on my blog, probably due to the latest events in my life I lost focus on many things, including this one. Sometimes reflecting about stuff can actually help you. Almost three weeks passed since we’re in 2019 and when the world started to feel a bit sweeter, the shadows of the past came rushing back. Even though I was hoping that I’ll find peace, somehow deep in my heart I knew that was impossible and that I have to face them all over again. The bad made me stronger but also weakened me out like never before. How is it possible that this is happening to me? How can you hate something with so much passion? Something that you created and should be proud and support your entire life? I guess I will never know, unless I will somehow enter the mind of my creator. I feel the need to return the hatred but I’m tired and something in my heart will never let this happen, maybe I’m just to weak to even think about it.

The feeling that your soul already departed away, all those empty laughs, cold and heartless. I never thought that depression can actually affect someone that much but here comes the slap of my ignorance. I feel the need to keep away everyone and everything, I need to be alone with my thoughts for a while in order to tame them. It’s in these times when you find out the true value of friendship. Are you gonna be there for me? Do I deserve it? I guess only time will tell.

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